Every now and then he gets to me. He pushes the right button says the right mean things hits the spot that breaks me completely emotionally. Many of you know I make jewelry in my spare time. It gives me something to focus on a place to fade into that is enjoyable has no yelling. I don’t sell a lot but I sell enough to break even. I made a comment this morning about my jewelry business and that gave him an open door to start. His words were like knives stabbing at my self confidence, attacking my creativity, stating I have no business it’s nothing. On and on he went. I had to walk away because I could no longer hold back the tears, my pride my self worth my feelings of accomplishment all shattered in a million pieces, I feel like I’m holding sand and it’s slipping away between my fingers.
I can understand why so many involved with narcissist partners lose hope, lose their sense of self.
And I know many of you will say he is only jealous because of the success I’ve had selling and having my jewelry published in a magazine. Despite all that it still hurts, it still cuts and I still feel like I’ve had the wind knocked out of me.
So like an injured animal I’m going to retreat today and tend to my wounded spirit.