Checking In

First wishing all dads, stepdads, moms who are dad too, a very happy Father’s Day. You are appreciated for your love, guidance, monster killing, lesson teaching, breakfast making, taxi duties, and bedtime stories. I envy your families as I lost my dad when I was 27 and my kids lost their dad my first husband when they were even younger. It was a 20 year relationship that I don’t feel can ever be repeated. My second marriage comes no where close. I never knew of narcissistic behaviour prior. I had never been treated so poorly by anyone. I would rather be single than married and feeling so isolated and alone. A narcissist takes no responsibility for any of their actions, everything is someone else’s fault. They will twist stories tell lies yell curse blame at the drop of a hat. I am currently living no contact in the same house while waiting for housing to find me a home. When he flips I ignore him, I won’t take the bait and believe me he tries. He will play the tv loud and yell and talk throughout the night when he knows I have to get up for work. He will complain about food I’ve cooked, groceries I’ve bought, how I clean, what I have and haven’t done. He attacks me personally saying I’ve gotten fat, which I know is untrue, he is the one that has gained so much weight that it is disgusting how he walks around 24/7 in only underwear. No he still has no job we are going on 8 months since he lost his job. Oh you know the story it wasn’t his fault. There are days I feel sorry for myself and wish my first husband had never gotten sick. I know this is my fault I saw signs but made excuses, I could have walked a few times but didn’t. For now I make the best of a bad situation and keep moving forward.

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