Breathe, count to 10

The hardest part about being in a relationship with a narcissist is not allowing yourself to become petty or vindictive. When the insults are thrown it’s hard not to take it personally. To day when I got up I was met in the hall by he who wishes to be obeyed and a bag of chips pushed in my face. 7am and he is eating chips. I was accused of deliberately squashing them. I looked at him in disbelief as he ranted about how I had better not buy any more broken chips. I knew what happened but had no desire to explain as he really didn’t care the other day as I tried to open the door and navigate my way in with the box of groceries which I lost and as I scrambled to grab the box got my hand caught.

I had called to him in the house to come help me but he was busy playing video games. I have been subjected today to being told I’m worse than anyone he has been with and deserve to be punched. His first marriage lasted 6months, one girlfriend ended up dating his brother and marrying him, another girl lived with him for a few years and left him because of abuse. His son and daughter want nothing to do with him and he has no idea where they are. Do I wish I had known this before yes, would I have done things differently yes. Would I have ran the other way most certainly. But for now I will wait patiently for housing to find me a place. I don’t think the reality has really hit him. I think he believes I’m not going to leave. When that door opens I’ll be running.

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