To Myself…..

In two months I will be 55, do I have regrets? Do I have failures? Do I have achievements? Of course….I think we all do. I look in a mirror and the reflection staring back does not match how I feel within. I touch the wrinkles on my face and though they belong to someone old I do not feel old within. Does our soul, our essence of being age? I have an immaturity that still escapes now and then to enjoy a giggle, a prank, an unbridled belly laugh. If I was able to talk to myself thirty years ago would I listen?

Dear Green Eyes,

I am your future, do not be so quick to grow up. Enjoy each moment, savour it like it is the last, store the memory like a treasure. I am proud of you, your determination to be real, to be honest, to have dignity, to have morals will always be worth the fight. You will walk some roads alone and others will find you with company for a short while. Be adventurous, try everything! Do not listen to negativity because you can do anything you want. Do not listen to negativity because you can be anything you want. Do not listen to negativity because you are a miracle of God. Your life will have pitfalls but these are only lessons helping to build a strength in you. These are lessons testing your faith, testing your ability to remain true to yourself. You will have children. See the world through their eyes if you feel you have lost your inner child. Laugh!! Laugh everyday, be happy, run, skip, jump, dance and sing at the top of your lungs. Many will try to blanket your exuberance just smile at them, let them see the sparkle in your eye that reflects your soul. Share with them the joy of life, teach them to be happy. And love. First and foremost love yourself. You are a unique, wondrous creation of God. Before you can truly love another you must love yourself. You will have heartache, you will have passion, you will be loved and feel loved. You will also feel the opposite, hatred, sadness, anger but do not let these emotions stay long. Feel them then send them on their way. Be compassionate, understanding and patient.

Look in the mirror often. As you grow lines will appear. They tell the story of your life. How much you smiled, laughed, experienced, how much you loved, worried, and even cried. These lines and changes are beautiful because they are you, they are your natural authentic self.

You know there is nothing I would try to change during my life. Each trial and tribulation has brought me to where I am today, has made me strong, none of it broke me, it made me. I am proud of who I am. Proud of my accomplishments, my tenacity, my ability to rise each time I’m knocked down.

I love me.

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